


Arrows of Love

by ConvenientAlias



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 07:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20305630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvenientAlias/pseuds/ConvenientAlias
Summary: Five people who thought Legolas might be plotting to murder Thorin, and one person who was a bit more clear on his intentions.





	Arrows of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wednesday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wednesday/gifts).

1.

It starts during the dwarves’ diplomatic visit to Mirkwood after the Battle of Five Armies. During the battle, no one had noticed any particular hostility between Thorin and the elven prince Legolas. But during the diplomatic visit, things seemed very different.

Kili was the first to note the hostility, though to be fair, it seemed to him that the hostility was more directed at him than at Thorin, at least at first. It was during a conversation between Legolas and Thorin about him, after all, that Legolas dropped the first hint.

“I must admit I am baffled by Tauriel’s choice in favoring your nephew,” he said. “She is a comrade, and of course I respect her judgment. Nevertheless, he is not the sort of person I would choose.”

“Does he not suit your standards, then?” Thorin asked.

“I would want a more substantial individual,” Legolas said coolly. “Someone with experience, gravity, skills, rank. And of course an attractive appearance. Such qualities are rare in dwarves.”

“Are they, now?”

“Very rare indeed.”

“And why should I care what you think, Prince Legolas?” Thorin asked. “Of my nephew… or indeed of anyone in my company? Why should your preferences concern me?”

“I merely make my statement,” Legolas said smoothly. “I do not mean anything by it in particular, unless you choose to imbue my words with meaning yourself.”

Even then, it might have been a relatively innocent conversation, if not for the fact that the whole time, Legolas was standing directly in front of Thorin, slightly looming over him. And that he finished with one final statement: “But should you choose to do so—and you’ve been eyeing me for long enough—make up your mind quickly. We elves live long, but you dwarves do not.”

“Carpe diem,” Thorin muttered as Legolas left. Kili, who had been standing a way’s back and pretending not to overhear Legolas insulting him, hurried off to tell Fili that Legolas had basically just threatened their uncle’s life.

2.

Thranduil was the second to note his son’s hostility towards Thorin Oakenshield. He was more pleased than not. Though he and Oakenshield were now reluctant allies, it was still true that one could never trust a dwarf. And Oakenshield was a particularly atrocious example of a dwarf.

So no wonder that Legolas stared at him during mealtimes, clearly disgusted by his terrible table manners. No wonder Legolas followed him around, keeping a close eye on him so that he wouldn’t try to steal any of their treasures or trash their halls. No wonder Legolas shadowed him so carefully. Indeed, hideous creatures did often cause such fascination, and it was only right that Legolas’ education on dwarves be enriched.

Still, when the guards informed him that Legolas had been standing outside Oakenshield’s window, staring up at it, he had to take his son aside. “I fear your intentions regarding Thorin Oakenshield have become too serious.” Such a level of surveillance was too akin to a threat. It was all very well for Legolas to watch Oakenshield, but if he actually attacked him… it would be very bad for relations, especially if Oakenshield died. And Thranduil had no doubts that his son was the equal of any dwarf in a fight.

Legolas said, “I beg your pardon then, father. I will make sure to act with discretion, and carefully.”

“You will not hurt him,” Thranduil said severely. “Not while he is within our halls—unless he offers offense first, and the offense had better be grave, or I will not stand for it. Curb yourself.”

“I have no intention of hurting him,” Legolas said.

Thranduil looked at him closely. It did not seem to be a lie.

Very well, then. “Good. Keep it in mind.” He dismissed Legolas. If things became dire, he would deal with them later.

3.

For Dwalin, the offense was immediate and obvious. He and Thorin were merely walking Mirkwood’s halls when an arrow came flying at their faces. It landed in the wall right in front of Thorin’s nose.

He exclaimed, but Thorin only looked up, and on a staircase across the way stood Legolas, bow in hand. He bowed to Thorin, and Thorin bowed calmly back.

Dwalin said, “What is he—”

And then another arrow came flying at them. This one pinned Thorin’s beard to the wall. Thorin touched the shaft and looked back at Legolas, raising his eyebrows. A third arrow came their way immediately, landing between Thorin’s legs.

Legolas bowed again, and continued climbing the stairs. He and Thorin had not exchanged a word the entire time.

“Sweet Moria!” Dwalin said. “We’re lucky he’s a bad shot, or…” But of course Legolas was a good shot, and they both knew it. “Is he playing games with you, then? Dare he threaten you, a guest in his father’s halls?”

Thorin absently pulled the arrows free from the wall. The one caught in his beard gave him the most trouble, but in the end he worked it free. He was careful not to break or bend any of them. “I will have to give these back later.”

“Please do, and bury them in his throat! I do not like that kind of elf.”

“I do not like any kind of elf,” Thorin said, but there was laughter in his eyes. “Don’t worry. This is merely a continuation of an argument we had.”

“An argument that has come to blows? You must appeal to Thranduil.”

“It was no large matter. Merely a question of whether elves can ever dominate in a relationship between them and dwarves. This is his proof. I will have to think about whether to accept it.” Thorin shrugged. “Well. It is an interesting conversation, at least.”

Dwalin said, “A dangerous one.”

“We are dangerous people,” Thorin said. “It is only right.”

4.

Of course, most of the company thought Master Baggins was stretching the facts a little when he said he thought Legolas was trying to kill Thorin with lembas. He had given Thorin a whole sack of them and had not informed Thorin that one was a full meal until Thorin had already eaten three.

“Overeating kills hobbits all the time,” Master Baggins said.

“It is not so lethal to dwarves,” Oin said.

“Indeed? Well, you saw how Legolas watched him eat. He was far too intent on it. He is always too intent on Thorin. It will be trouble eventually, and I only hope I’m far away by the time it erupts.”

The company agreed that, while this case was somewhat dubious, in general Master Baggins was quite right.

5.

Oin, himself, was trying not to be paranoid. But.

Some things were hard to interpret in an optimistic light.

He’d heard of the arrows from Dwalin. And he’d seen the fierceness in the prince’s eyes. So when Thorin received a summons from the prince, asking him to come to the prince’s private quarters, he begged Thorin not to acquiesce.

“This feud between the two of you is too hot, my king. I have worries.”

“Worry not,” Thorin said. “It’s nothing of great importance.”

“It is of importance if we lose our king! Erebor is not so firmly established that we can afford it, and if we lost you and the elves as our enemy, what would become of us then? Have pity on us, Thorin. Do not go.”

“Maybe I’m going up to improve diplomatic relations, not worsen them. Had you considered that possibility?”

“Your intent matters little. Prince Legolas has had his eye on you since you first arrived, and perhaps before. He may kill you as soon as you step into the room. At least take me with you, that you may have someone to protect you.”

“I can protect myself well enough,” Thorin said. “But worry not. If I die, it will only be in the most pleasant manner.”

Indeed one might consider it pleasant to duel to the death against a sworn enemy like the elves, but Oin still could not countenance it. After all they had done, that Thorin should fall, not even to gold sickness, but to rashness! He begged and pleaded and hemmed and hawed, but Thorin would not hear him. So he went up to Legolas’s room alone, leaving Oin to bite his nails.

+1.

“And have you decided yet?” Legolas said.

“Decided what?”

“How to take my words.”

“Take your words?” Thorin said. “My prince, I will take you whole—and you had better not say no, after all this teasing.”

Legolas smiled.

It would be several hours before Thorin returned to the company’s quarters to reassure the distraught dwarves and hobbit that he was not dead. But it must be admitted that during this interlude, he did not think much of his distressed company at all. Perhaps he was a self-centered sort of dwarf, but one could hardly blame him. Any dwarf would be likely to feel the same, given the opportunity, after many tests and trials, to plunder a rare and wonderful treasure.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I just ship this now.


End file.
